Tom, the others have all answered so well, but I couldn't not comment.
Your posting of this thread shows how much you care for her - writing things down helps me, even if no one is ever going to read what I have written. Handwriting not on the pc and then burning the piece of paper and watching the wind take the embers away.
I don't know your slave - but with you by her side - you will both come through this
love and ~hugs~ minxy xx