Body Size & Shape

[TomOfSweden]

One thing I have noticed in my time is that the majority of women are not happy with thier body. Media images of women are getting more and more unrealistic and many now feel that they are 'not ideal' - even those who are close to that artificial ideal. Whether it is weight or breast size or hip/waist shape most women have something they hate and none of them take 'no, really, you are beautifully sexy' as an answer to the question 'does my bum look big in this?'

This is a shame as body shape is something that is partly genetic. Ok, you can make yourself horribly obese by eating badly and not exercising and that is correctable with discipline but if you are 'a little chunky round the middle' then you may well be that shape because of genes.

I think you're touching on a very deep issue. The problem is basically that we're still just a breed of monkey. We want to be prettier/better than all the others. When we didn't have tools to fix ourselves, we had to accept ourselves. I'm not saying this was better, but just a fact of life.

So what's the problem with media? Well, now when we have the tools to fix ourselves and make ourselves pretty, we compare ourselves with those who look great in pictures. This is a source of pressure and guilt.

But its not a fair comparison because we all know that the pictures in media, (and I'm referring to all media, included your uploaded pictures here) is your best angle on a good day. But we're stupid monkeys. We can't handle this subconsciously.

*edit*
...and grainy pictures. We fill in gaps. Things we can't see accurately, we upgrade.
*end of edit*

I don't think the big media corporations are evil or creating unattainable ideals. We're just as guilty. I think models being radically photoshoped to a point where they barely look human is only positive because then its easier to see it for the fantasy it is. And have fun with it rather than being the source of guilt.

It's the anxiety and guilt that is bad, not the attempts to make yourself pretty. In the BDSM scene we have no taboos when it comes to making ourselves pretty. We can all of us take what we have and flaunt it. You know that if you're smart somebody will worship your body. If you don't like the way your face is.... put on a latex mask, and flash your tits.

I think the biggest danger here is to pretend like any ideal today isn't artificial. They all are. And they're all designed to be hard to attain, because that's what our monkey brains select for. You just want an ideal where you're the one that looks good. Pick that. There's always a style for you and your body type. If you've got an ideal that isn't right for you, then you've got a problem with reality. But this is a common issue women have, so I'm not going to play it down.

Once I went into a skateboard shop here in Stockholm and tried on some jeans. They where all designed for short and squat people. They looked great on the guys in the shop. But I looked like a clown in them.

We have certain genetic cues we look for when we're checking somebody out. People who have them are attractive. We don't care if we're being fooled or not. We are only looking for the cues. If we can see them... fake or not. We get horny. Pretending like we don't care about looks is not helpful.

This is the brain we've got and we can either accept it and work with it, or be unhappy and think nobody will love us for our bodies because we hate them.