Internet relationship: blessing or torment?

[claire]

It is both for me!. He is my first and I have learned so much and I love him so much and I live for the time we have together on line. For various reasons he is often absent for long periods of time, once several months. I wither in his absence, thirsting for his attention and love. At times it flares to a need for anyone's attention as I die inside. The meeting we both hope for in the flesh, seems less and less likely. The torment of my need for the flesh is almost a physical pain. He has reawakened physical and emotional needs that I had shut down long ago. The loneliness and agony of desire is almost unbearable at times. Yet I regret nothing, only the distance that separates us. It is good to know at last, that I can feel these things and possibilities exist however remote they may seem. Yet again, sometimes I despair over ever having what I need in the flesh.