Hiya cleo1 and to our cosy home. Please don't ever feel that asking is stupid...whatever is important enough to you to ask about certainly doesn't fall into that category. I'm sorry to hear about your story and the way you found out about your hubby's kinks. He should have told you what kept him away from you for such a long time. I'm not sure I would have had the will to try and make things work again...I hope he's worth it.

That said - there are a lot of caring and knowledgable people on this board and if you decide to start your journey into the kinky world, you'll have friends to help you along. Good luck and ask away!