Try a munch. There are lots of resources for finding them near you... Google is a great way to find the ones near you...

I like munches because they are (supposed to be) non-play events strictly for meeting and networking. You'll find like-minded people. You'll find compatriots who will steer you away from any posers who have managed to survive their scrutiny, most disappear rapidly in such environments. You'll learn just be being involved in conversation.

We're much better at 'sussing' out people we can watch while we talk to them. Harder to do than online, but...

I'd also consider a well written personal ad here. Or try the chatroom. And take your time, ask around about those who answer the ad, though you feel safer in the anonimity of online, ultimately you can be hurt emotionally as badly as you can in real life... so it pays to have a lot of conversations with potential online dom/mes.