When did you know?

[SubmissiveDoll]

My two cents here...

I'm a psych major, and being in the lifestyle, I tend to read up on everything I can find on the psych aspects.

As far as the childhood bit goes, there have been many studies over the years on the ideas and causes of fetishes. They have found that most (if not all) fetishes form before school age. They come from memories and fixations that most people can't remember in adult life. However, your subconscious remembers. A typical example is of a child who plays with his mothers shoes. Gathering them into piles and playing games with his mother matching colors with shoes. Can (not saying it will) lead to an adult hoot shoe fetish.

That is an example, not saying it WILL happen that way. A fetish is generally something that is comforting in some way due to a childhood memory that is usually inaccessible with your adult mind.

Again, just my two cents.

[jubes]

I'm one of those people who have always known on some level, even before I knew the terminology. When I was young enough to be reading the Black Stallion books (maybe 8 or 9), I would pretend that I'd been abducted, held prisoner, and tortured. I would even tie myself up in bed. I would read any children's/young adults lit that had any measure of pain or punishment in it, and imagine myself in the character's place. When I was 16, I came across a copy of Exit to Eden at a garage sale, and devoured it in one night. It was like the author (Anne Rice) had guessed all of the fantasies I'd never even known I had, and wrote them down. I've never been able to be part of a 'normal' relationship since.

[yama]

I was about 4 or 5 years old when I had dreams about chunks carved out of my body. It was done always by girls. It wasn't a horror scene, my body didn't bleed at all, it was inside just like outside, smooth skin and nothing else. And there was no pain.

Later I always enjoyed stories where people were tortured and humiliated. In the age of puberty my sexual fantasies were masochistic. Later I read about masochism and I could identify myself. The BDSM subculture is a surprise for me.

Thank you if you took the care of reading this late post. It is the second occasion in my life when I could reveal my childhood dreams.