Sometimes unfortunately our needs and wants do not always match those of the partner we have choosen. As we mature we change, we grow, and this also happens in the sexual area of our lifes. I did not know that I am who I am when I was younger.
I did all the things, hints, toys, out right told him, but he was not that person I needed, he tried a couple of times, but you do know when someone's heart is not in it. He was humouring me. You cannot change someone, in my opinion.
I have a Master now, that is not playing, is not humouring me. He is a strong man, that knows what he wants, and more importantly, what I need and want.
I wish you luck in finding your balance in your relationship.