Quote Originally Posted by Flaming_Redhead View Post

The question burning in my mind is this. With so few masters actually willing to be entirely responsible for another human being, where does that leave the truely submissive? Where can they (we?) find a safe haven and acceptance, if not here in the lifestyle? With everyone encouraging others to just be themselves, why does it always feel like they're (we're?) not included?
The time i audibly gasped was with the word 'truly' submissive. I never, for one second, would claim that a woman who is assertive and dominating in her everyday life is not 'truly' submissive when it comes to her lover, master, dominant, partner. For one thing, it's not fair.
As for having a safe haven and acceptance, that first comes from within. I'll spare us all the psychological mumbo jumbo, I'll just get straight to the point and say that if one is comfortable with who he or she is, they don't need a safe haven per se--they need a place for discussion, debate, mental stimulation and information.
As for more dependant submissives--if i could put it in that way without offending anybody--nobody is excluding them or discouraging them from expressing their wants and needs. Well, at least, I'm not. The times I would stress out that i am not a 'doormat' is to keep wannabe dominants at bay, not willing to spend time and energy with them. Even the most dependant submissive [again, without wanting to offend anybody] has the sense to keep away from them and make her choices according to what her desires are.
There's no norms in this case, it's pretty much whatever rocks your boat. As long as each person makes sure that they're safe and are enjoying themselves, then it's all fine by me. The only thing i would stress out, however, is that if i saw a more dependant submissive in a relationship, i would make sure that she stays in it out of choice and happiness and not out of fear. There's a thin line between submission and D/s relationships and outright abuse. That's my biggest fear, and perhaps a reason to stress out that one is not a 'doormat'.