This is a subject very close to home for me. I can cum with a vibrator on my clit. I have never ever ever cum from penetration or any kind of stimulation of the area where the g spot is supposed to be. It makes me want to pee. I have done everything imaginable to find one and I do NOT have a g spot. The only way for me to cum is clitoral stimulation. And that can be a task in itself. It has nothing to do with relaxing. I have no hangups about sex or cumming or making noise or any of that crap.
It has been medically proven that some women just don't have a g spot. Nothing irritates me more than people who tell me I just haven't tried hard enough, or THEY could find it. It isn't there. I am no untried virgin. lol. I have had more opportunities than most women get in their entire lives. I am not saying sex is not satisfying for me, but I am saying that there are more times than not that I don't cum. It is just too much work. If I need to cum I can just get out the vibe and be done with it in seconds....most of the time anyway. As for the whole 'cumming on command' thing...I have never believed it and quite frankly never will. But hey, whatever floats your boat!