We have definitely had some internal resistance to the poly thing on both sides, but in the long run it has been totally worth it.

The way we did it, we started as a triangle with a close friend of ours (for a while she was our girlfriend), and eventually branched out into other partners from there. The triangle thing helped us to get used to the idea of seeing each other with someone else, which I think helped a lot.

Personally, it is easy for me to deal with my husband being with someone who is *very* different from me. The more I think of someone as similar to me in any way, the more likely I am to be jealous of them. Like, if my husband is with a Dominant person, or with a guy, or with an athletic chick with huge arms and no boobs, that doesn't make me as jealous, because that person is filling a different niche from me. The more things they have in common with me, the more nervous I get that they might try to take my place. I don't know if other people feel the same way, though.

It's also always going to be tough when one person has a lot of prospective partners and the other one doesn't. For a while, I had a lot of people who wanted to play with me, and D. didn't have as many, which was kind of hard on him. Lately, the situation has been reversed -- I've been striking out a lot, and he's in a really happy relationship with his GF. Naturally, this is kind of tough for me to deal with, although I suspect that the striking-out part would be almost as tough regardless of the circumstances. I hate getting turned down!

Basically, there are a lot of pitfalls, but with a lot of communication and respect it's easy to get past them, and it gets easier as you go. Plus there are fun benefits, like having his GF on my side when I'm trying to convince him to wear fitted shirts.