real life!

[star_sparkle]

A final note: in a real 24/7 relationship, the dominant serves the submissive as much as - if not more than - the submissive serves the dominant. Granted, the kind of service each gives is very different, but there has to be balance. Otherwise the relationship simply cannot and will not last.

Very well said, and so very true. It is the same in my own relationship.

Welcome to ther real world of BDSM. I have been married 31 years, we have played and practised at BDSM all that time. We have NEVER been in a 24/7 Master/slave relationship. For us, BDSM is a fun way to spice up our relationship. Has she ever said, GO Get F*****d, when I wanted to play. Of course she has. We managed to raise 3 kids, 2 careers, a home, several businesses and all the other stuff that comes with life and still have a good time at BDSM.

Now, Im not saying that there are some out there who manage a 24/7 situation. Im just saying that for me, and for most of us, I think it is more of a pasttime than a lifestyle.

Now, does it really matter which way you have it. Hell No! You find the level that fits your life and that you enjoy and thats what you do, enjoy it. Don't let anyone tell you that you arent real or arent serious if you only play once a month when Grandma keeps the kids for Saturday night. THis is all about having fun, enjoying yourself and doing what fits your life, your means and your interests.

TDS

(shoves my soap box back under the couch)

Again, well said. we have the same issues and although we consider our selves 24/7 despite the fact that is really is not a traditional 24/7, it just works for us. and the time that we get, are some of the best times and we enjoy them to the fullest

I look at it this way icey... *plunks down a couple pennies*


We're still in love, 24/7, even thought we're not actively engaging in the actions our love manifests.


I feel a D/s relationship works the same way. I am J's sub: regardless of if we are in scene or not, regardless of if we're feeling particularly sexual or not, and even regardless of me PMS'ing like a hormone fueled banshee. I am J's sub. I don't have to be prostrate at his feet all day to prove that, it is not who I am on the outside 24/7 that makes my submission so, it is also the commitment I have to him in my heart.

That internal commitment is strong enough to be flexible to outside inevitabilities.

Now, that was prolly more than two cent's worth, so can you break a twenty?

This is so refreshing to know i am not the only one who feels this way.

I'm more in line with amber's statement.

24/7 is an undercurrent the lives with you whereever you go...

One that acutely manifests itself when you're in each the others' presence and revs or idles as need be... but that motor is always running.

agreed


wow, i am so glad i saw this thread, this really makes me feel a lot more comfortable to know that i am not alone in my feelings. Real life does have its way of worming into our fantasies, but if it didnt we would not have all of the other things in our lives that are so enjoyable, or miserable, and in that case you have some one to hold you or you to hold them. That everyones ideas of this are different and that no matter how you look at it, what ever works for you and feels right, it doesnt matter what everyone else says. ( well unless they agree of course )

[icey]

wow, i am so glad i saw this thread, this really makes me feel a lot more comfortable to know that i am not alone in my feelings. Real life does have its way of worming into our fantasies, but if it didnt we would not have all of the other things in our lives that are so enjoyable, or miserable, and in that case you have some one to hold you or you to hold them. That everyones ideas of this are different and that no matter how you look at it, what ever works for you and feels right, it doesnt matter what everyone else says. ( well unless they agree of course )

im glad to know im not the only one who feels this way..phew!!!
i was beginning to think i was the deluded one and needed to get my very own pair of rose tinted glasses!,
amber i know what you mean about the pms banshee thing, lol i just didnt know subs were allowed such a luxury as pms.
amber,i feel for J-go if your fueled hormones at that time of month are anything like mine lol.

there were many more things i wanted to put in my OP about some of the romanticised things people say, im not saying there's anything wrong with romance but i do get fed up of the same old quotes and bdsm style lines and talk all the time and wish more people would be more comfortable or open with using their own.
because and this is not intended as an insult im including myself too, i think in some ways we're all a little guilty of that to some degree or another, kind of like we've become a little 'conditioned' to all the ettiquette (im not talking about the all subs should ask permission to speak use titles to all and sundry type ettiquette) for worry of being different and not presenting ourselves in the correct way a bit like society in general except ours being a 'bdsm society'.

but i didnt because it would probably have come across as dismissive,scornful or mocking no matter how i'd worded it it would i think have come across a bit rude and disrespectful and didnt want to start a riot.