I recently came to the same conclusion, about three hours ago infact lol. Thank you. But she still wont talk to me, I sent her the first message since yesterday about an hour ago. I am almost worried if I didnt know her mother would tell me if anything happened. But now I have literaly lost everything. stacey wont speak, sub and I just possibly broke and were having too much drama etc (I should just let go but it was a long term relationship and seeing her start to want to do this and try it out to make me happy means alot even if she decides she doesnt like it and I would need to be vanilla with her) et cetera et cetera et cetera. So part of the problem Im having is probably the feeling of drowning in a sea of events I cant control (and we all know I hate not being in control )