It turned out what I need is something else. I do not need lots of pain or beatings, but I absolutely need a strong element of dominance AND trust. I belong to the girls who get off on giving a blow-job without touching myself. *lol*
If that element is not present, it simply does nothing for me.
The romantic candle-light dinner, slow music, and long foreplay sort of thing is the most reliable way to turn me off completely
Yes i also think a lot to do with it is i have not effectively been completely turned on. Rarely is my need of domination ever fulfilled.. and a lot of the times i get the assholes that just sit there and expect me to do all the work.. and i am the same way i am pretty sure romantic candle-light dinner, slow music, fore play would make me want to vomit

Only with my hubby who is also my dom I experienced that itīs possible to come during pretty much any action. It was a long process, though. And I should add all sorts of things only started to happen because he never pressurized me, and never felt "hurt" or "insulted" when I did not come... I could speak about my issues with him, and he told me to stop worrying and just start to enjoy myself... and from the moment on I relaxed myself and knew nothing bad would happen if I would not come, I of course DID come. *lol
ya I know part of my problem is i need to find a regular partner i can feel comfortable enough with that i can work with him to help me cum.. sadly where i live unless i want boys with no teeth their are slim pickings jk LOL

As someone else said: If you can come on your own, there is nothing wrong with your physical functions.
LOL sometimes i wish their was.. a lil surgery .. bam i can cum from any guy haha