I have made a huge mistake...

[fetishdj]

I can't remember the name of it... I'll look it up and post it when I find it.

[Buttons.the.kitty]

And here I am looking for advice again already...

I'll call the guy James (not his real name) so I don't get all confusing just saying "he".

Our first date (on Thursday) went really well.

There's a group I found online, of kinksters of the younger generation who live in my city. They had a party on Friday that I initially planned to go to. James was being really weird about me going to the party (he did not want to go with me) - he kept his mouth shut about it but I could tell he was uncomfortable with the idea, even though I told him I wasn't going to "play" with anyone at the party. I guess his concern in *this* situation was understandable though. The group also meets twice a month for coffee, and I ultimately decided that it would be much more sane for me to get to know everyone with their clothes on first, so I opted out of the party and hung out with James again instead.

So I met the group for coffee for the first time today, and James is just as upset about this as he was about the idea of me going to the party. I don't understand - it was just a social thing, it's not like we were gonna be having an orgy right there in the coffee place.

This is just so upsetting to me...meeting this group today has been the first thing to finally make me feel right about this aspect of my life, and it really hurts that this guy I really like, who I had *thought* was okay with the kind of BDSM activities I'm into, is so disapproving of it.

I know I need to talk to him, and I'm going to tonight when he gets off work...I just have no idea what's going through his head right now. I'm assuming that's he's just got some misconceptions about the group like he did about me when he first found out. Hopefully I can get him to understand...