each fill out the bdsm questionair(sp), on this site, its a very good way to find out where your interests lie and where his do, fill them out indevidually and then discuss them its a brilliant way to break into this or at least it worked for me. Try n start slow and (no matter how much you want to jump straight in!) and talk lots and lots and lots.. really i cant stress that enough!
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9385 <questionare thread