The most bearable thing about pain is its great ability to be molded into such artistic beauty. I regret that you have had to deal with the emotions you have, but it was a wonderful read. You did an excellent job of drawing the reader in. Although I have never experienced many of the things you mentioned in your poem, I may as well have, because your descriptions took me right there. I agree with you that you protect your heart until some of the pain abates. But I truly believe that one day you will find someone with whom you can experience those things again. The only thing I did not like about your poem is
"Though my life has been built to only serve,
i guess i am not worthy and do not deserve.
So a lost little kitten a lost little pet,
that is what i am now, that is what i get"

You should never allow yourself to be a victim of false-blame. In my opinion, the fact that you feel your 'life has been built only to serve' is precisely why you deserve. You can't turn it inward: your poem is so open and tender; how can you possibly write with those qualities if you don't have them yourself? You deserve much more than your current situation...or at least the situation you had when you wrote this piece.

By the way, you're a very good poet. You should keep writing.