I used to write stories when I was younger about being kidnapped (and other fun stuff that would ensue), and other similar stories. Ha ha, I just remembered, when I still played with Barbies, I used to have them act some of the stuff out and when Ken and Barbie would get physical, there'd usually be some force used in the fantasy...Good lord, how big of a dork am I? One of my neighbors and I used to play "house" a lot, too, and he'd boss me around to clean stuff. We also occasionally played pirates or other similar games, though we were too young for it to be really be sexual.

When I first started having sex, I was definitely interested in trying new things and tried to get my boyfriend to tie me up or use cuffs, and I liked it when he smacked my ass. Though he was never very into things and after one incident where he called me a freak, I mostly buried that side of me, thinking it was wrong.

I never really identified any of these things as being bdsm, until I met my current boyfriend a few months ago. And honestly, I never identified these things as being strange until the incident with my ex (which caused lots of shame and guilt issues I'm still trying to shake).

So...I guess I didn't "know" until a few months ago, but I've had inclination or leanings that way for quite some time.