All of what you've said is reasonable and especially appropriate for those taking their first steps into the lifestyle.

But one of your comments struck a negative chord with me, and as someone new to this, you should be careful that you've not taken what your perceive, at the surface, as a deep down truth.

Quote Originally Posted by Guignolesque View Post
As a dom, I'm pretty sure that while many of the uninitiated belive that the sub is in service to the master, the reality is quite the opposite.
The unitiated only "know" what they see in fantasy, so regardless of what they think, their perceptions are irrelevent. You, having been exposed, see all the protocols surrounding consent and safety, and yes, it sometimes seems that we dominants are the ones in service. But taking this as a truth is limiting and perhaps even stunts the growth of your relationship with your partner as a dominant-submissive pair.

What I've learned is that a dominant who believes the submissive holds all the power, stops being a dominant. When that happens, the submissive becomes unhappy. They don't want to be in charge, they don't want to have control. How can they experience their submission if all you are doing is topping them, turning them into a bottom. There's an emotional connection between dom and sub that parallels the physical activities... Tops and bottoms do many of the same things and can also have emotional connections, but those connections don't reflect the D/s dynamic. This is hard (for me) to explain properly, and for others who are reading this, I by no means intend to belittle top-bottom relationships. They're just as important and just as vital, just different than D/s imo.

Suffice to say, if your wife wishes to be submissive, even if only in the bedroom, then it is incumbent on you to be dominant, in charge, and allow her to serve you. If it pleases you to give her an orgasm, do so, but because it pleases you... not because it pleases her. Otherwise, you will soon cease to be "dominant enough" for her.