And doubt is perfectly natural. Trust is built through actions, not verbal reassurances. It's perfectly normal for a sub to pull at her lead to test if you're paying attention, and perfectly normal for you to jerk her leash to assure her that you are. It's perfectly normal for the testing to upset you and for you to punish her to remind her of her place. Those tests should become more rare over time as you prove you are in control and as trust is built.

Have you really not had subs test boundaries with you? If not then it seems like you either found exceptional women or are capable of building exceptional trust, either of which is worth a tip of the hat. *tip*