Thank you both for the replies. I have tried twice last month to setup scenes and she has backed out. She was not comfortable and there is no reason to push something through if both parties are not comfortable.

Yet I see the pattern repeating itself. This is the second time I have discovered she sought out a Dom to meet her needs in D/s. We are back in counseling to save the marriage. But she is repressing her desires again about D/s in order to save the marriage. She did this the first time I discovered another. I appreciate that, yet in a few years those desires will return again and she will talk to someone else other than me.

Dog's Lady, I have considered sharing her with a DOM. That is easier said than done, I'm sure. I also doubt she would let me contact him. To me it is like she will share her D/s desires with others but not her husband. I causes me great frustration and I am at my wits end.

I have told her that we will talk about D/s once a month. Yet at sometime in the next year if we do not start sharing this in our lives, I will have to end our marriage. I do not know what I can do to rebuild her trust in this matter.

Thanks I like the 'takeninhand' website.