Romanticising BDSM Relationships

[-angelstar-]

Originally posted by LadyAmanda

Anyhow, what I'm trying to say is that every couple (or more have to find their own place, whether it fits into the on-line scene or not. Who really cares what a bunch of strangers think is 'right'? We live our livestyle as close to 100% of the time as we can, and it certainly works for us.

Amanda

this paragraph caught my eye. totally agree with it. at the end of the day, it is you, and your partner (and whoever else you're involved with) that matter. what other people think and do isnt really important as long as you are happy and satisfied with the way things are for you.

Originally posted by Dari

for one, I wouldn't ever mind my capital typings - "I" is the only word I ever seem to spell in capitals, and that's only from habit. I'm also one of the people who tends to have problems reading something with too many slashes, ehm, I even only figured out what this means and why people do it a short time ago. if someone feels like it's okay with them they should do it, as it's as much restricting to say "hey you shouldn't do it!" as forcing someone to do it, but I don't think that anyone around here would do that. you seem too sensible

although I consider myself rather on the submissive side, I have a dominant streak, and there are things I won't do simply because I find them stupid; or it's just too tempting not to do it. I'm refering to my dom as sir (no capitals), but I tend to get lenient with that rather soon - until now he hasn't told me to mind his title, but even if he did I'd probably wouldn't do it more frequently. maybe I'm just trying to call doom down on myself?
and that bowing and curtsying thing is rather stupid, I'd say. I'd only consider it appropriate in a matching scene, but I guess I'd ruin it by having to chuckle too much.

I sometimes do have a low self-esteem, but it seems to rise the moment someone wants to use that against me. for myself I have some defined limits as to how I would address others, and behave towards them, if some dom in an online chat would require me to grovel before him without being his sub I'd probably laugh in his virtual face and quit. I think that as a woman and a sub I require at least as much politeness as the other side might want from me - at the end we are all people, everyone's equal. I simply don't see why something like "all are equal, but some are more equal than others" should apply to me only because I prefer being dominated to dominating myself. naturally there are do's and don't's in a d/s relationship for the sub, but that should all stay in a well-defined (by both parties) reach everyone can live with - for me this couldn't be too tight; but the important thing is that it's something two people have to be content with, so it can't be something defined in a book, it has to be a dynamic thing.

well. i hate typing with capitals unless i'm forced to do it. its just the way i am. i think my words look nicer all in lower case. so i guess its just the way it is with those who insist on specifical capitalisation and all the A/all and W/we kinda stuff. its just personal preference. we should just give and take, and tolerate.

apart from that, i think i kinda agree with most of what Dari says, cos i've similar thoughts. except that i dont call him sir, or master or stuff like that. i see no need to, and i doubt i will, unless he explicitly says so... afterwhich, yes i will consider it. but i dunno. maybe its just me but i think its ridiculous to use such 'names' in the context of ordinary life. of course, yes, given some particular cirumstances, where usage is appropriate, then i will attempt to do it

i'm not even sure if i have a low self esteem or anything like that. i'm a rather complicated person. but yeah, i expect to be treated with respect. even though i'm a sub, and will never and can never be a domme, respect is essential to me. i believe that there are ways you can exercise control and authority over me, without belittling me as a person. this d/s and the whole treating a person with decency and respect are two different things, although they overlap in certain aspects. hence, i dunno. maybe i just have my own warped view of this all, but certain boundaries are clearly defined in my head. for instance, you can smack me anywhere you like, except my face. once you slap me on my face, that's it. its no longer a d/s thing to me. do i make any sense? or am i just utterly confusing here i dunno. but this is just my take on things.

[Dari]

Originally posted by -angelstar-
do i make any sense? or am i just utterly confusing here i dunno. but this is just my take on things.

at least for me you do
everyone has personal limits that simply cannot be generalized, but as this is just another expression of our individuality that's a good thing.
and I also find it kind of ridiculous to call my dom sir, I guess I'll drop it except of to use it in the opening of a concersation, and when I'm being scolded. maybe it will get different should I really screw up something (or he reads this ), but for now that seems enough, at least for me. but I'm really not a fan of fancy titles.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

To commemorate the opening of a new section in the Dungeon, I am bumping this and several other threads to the top of the list.

Enjoy!