It actually occurs to me that I know more subs than doms who are poly -- I know a lot of doms who have the "I don't share my toys" attitude.![]()
It actually occurs to me that I know more subs than doms who are poly -- I know a lot of doms who have the "I don't share my toys" attitude.![]()
I love myself, I want you to love me
When I feel down I want you above me
I search myself, I want you to find me
I forget myself, I want you to remind me.
-- the DeVinyls, "I Touch Myself"
I have never considered My sub(s) to be My toys. The only 3 times I played with subs ended up quite mixed - once was quite fine and I wanted to return to Nashville to play again, the other two were a total waste of time and energy. On the other hand, when I love someone I expect her to love Me in return which to Me means that I look out for her and care for her and sacrifice Myself when necessary for her and even sometimes when not necessary and though I might look elsewhere I do not touch elsewhere... and I ensure that I keep her on edge sexually... and in return I expect the same loyalty and total sexual submission. Only one relationship involved anything approaching 24/7 and I would just love to find another who went beyond submission and into service... but then again I am not certain I want that much responsibility again. Most of the time I prefer equality outside the bedroom and to be dominant in the bedroom. Would I share My lady with another? I have shared females with My brothers, but never have I allowed anyone to dominate My own - why would I do that? Her enslavement is to Me, not to man or male, to MMMeeeee. get it?
GypsieCowboy
I guess I'll drop my own insights here as well.
I am personally polyamorous, and have been for as long as I can remember. I have to agree with everyone that says yes, you should absolutely tell the people in your life something that important. There is a fine line between keeping certain things private and lying to those around you. And I have to agree with the assessment of your Dom.
Supposedly you meant so much to him that he wasn't willing to share you, he was married to another women - something that usually implies a hi level of love as well - yet you two had no idea about his 'real' life. I can't see how this would work out in your favor. I don't want to think about how things would have ended changing after a few years.
As for asking about all Doms, there is no absolute. We are 6.5 billion individuals, and every one of is going to have different rules about life.
Speaking for myself, no. I'm not polyamorous. My doll and I are strictly monogamous, and definitely happier for it. While I've never been an overly jealous/territorial person before, with her it is a whole other story. Poly happens in all walks of life though, not just the D/s community...it's just easier to explain in the D/s world. In 'vanilla' life, it would be more likely to be seen as cheating or 'having a mistress on the side'. Just my two bits, Sorry they're not worth much.
I find that I have a hard time holding a romantic/sexual interest in more than one person at a time.
A harem in the I am a wealthy mofo with a lot of willing companions kinda way is attractive but really just for sexual use and entertainment purposes. I think it is possible to have some kind of polyamorous or polygamous relationship but I think that there are always going to be favorites. Just look at the Taj Mahal, he didn't build that for every wife just his favorite. Can I care about more than one woman at a time? Sure. Can I have fun with more than one sub at a time? Hell yeah, but one of them is always going to be my first choice and the other is going to be a friend with benefits or just for entertainment. I think having a large harem pretty much eliminates much emotional connection to any of the submissives. If I had a dozen or so women competing for my attention at any given time I would definitely treat the vast majority of them badly because they would be essentially disposable.
Everyone lives this lifestyle their own way. I am not Poly, but I can promise you that the way I Dom is found in any single forum. The best answer I can give you is to follow your heart and listen to your gut. Just dont think too much.
this is a touchy topic for myself..... i am and i tend to be a viciously jealous person.... like to the extent that i am actually ashamed of myself, so if another sub is introduced in any part of my life, as more than just a friend to my relationship i will definately have to learn not to bite her (if it were to be a male sub i really dont think i would mind bizarrely enough) head off![]()
this just reminds me of the song by Breaking Benjamin called duh duh duh dah "Polyarmorous".... AWESOME SONG
Now here's where i get geeky:
"poly" means many
"amorous" means loves
therefore i think i need to distinguish between polyamory which would mean love
and just meaningless additions to the "playtime" between a Dom and a sub!!
I am one of the "I don´t share my toys" kind of guy myself but naturally as any redblooded male, the thought of a harem sure has some appealbut no I wouldn´t want that in real life for sure. Too much things that can go wrong and the potential for soo much drama that I sure don´t need.
No, I dont share my toys and neither would I share my girl with anybody. She´s all mine.
Sir to my girl.
Daddy
Each his own. NO, NO, and NO. but each his own.
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