True likes/dislikes?

[Silke]

Oooohh - that's exactly where I got stuck and for probably the same philosophical ideas! Now I don't feel alone anymore! *giggles* And yeah, I came to the same last question...not sure it matters in a practical way, but it's an interesting mind game to play through. Thank you so much for that post, Tae'lyn. *hugs*

[Tae'lyn]

Oooohh - that's exactly where I got stuck and for probably the same philosophical ideas!

We could really get confused if we consider that maybe neither of us enjoy the activity technically, but both do it within the moment assuming it is pleasing to the other.

Just one happy cycle of fun. Course I believe my dom knows me so well he could tell the difference between a moan of pleasure and one of mild interest. Even when I think they sound identical

Tae'lyn

[Silke]

LMAO....now that's funny!!!

But yeah, I hope he can tell the difference - big advantage when you can actually see, feel and hear each other *grins*...it's a bit more confusing when you're online and have to search your mind and body for some reasonable feedback to give and then he has to make sense out of it.

[Tae'lyn]

[Tae'lyn]

big advantage when you can actually see, feel and hear each other *grins*...it's a bit more confusing when you're online and have to search your mind and body for some reasonable feedback to give and then he has to make sense out of it.

My dom and I actually met online a few years back, and not in a place I ever thought I would find someone to date, let alone give myself to: an online video game. So I can totally relate to the confusion of online.

I do believe though that my dom knows me as well as he does because of the patience he had in learning everything about me piece by piece. Whether it was through chat, email, phone, webcam or any other possible medium we could use to get to know each other, he could explore through my fantasies and learn my limits before ever touching me in person.

It made for a much more comfortable initial meeting, knowing he knew me so well was scary emotionally, but fulfilling in the most wonderful ways.

Tae'lyn

[Tae'lyn]

Excuse my technical difficulties <wrinkles her nose>

[GoddessGiana]

Actually, I am quite enjoying the philosophical spin of this thread! Tae'lyn really hits on a good point in discussing those "gray area activities" and her experiences with them. I think in some ways, the art of being a good dom/me lies within his or her ability to work within those "gray areas" and use her creativity and thoughtfulness to create an activity that allows her sub to move past such boundaries at a safe and comfortable pace.

It could be, as Tae'lyn mentions, that these stem from underlying desires or needs. I tend to think that this is the case in a great deal of scenarios. And of course, the ulimate reward is knowing that you have pleased your dom/me.

Psychology will tell us that none of us does anything that he or she on some level does not really want to do. Learning what truly motivates each of us is the beautifully, complex and unique aspect that makes it even more delicious!

Great thread everyone!

Giana

This thread got me thinking about what really motivates either of us into our likes and dislikes. I believe many of my gray area type activities have become serious turn ons. My dom has slowly brought out those needs or desires, like someone testing the waters to see what would be a turn on. But were these underlying, just waiting to be brought out? Or are they are turn on for me, because it pleases him?

What I found myself wondering was, how does he feel about these activities? Perhaps it is he that participates in them, not for his pleasure necessarily, but for the pleasure in knowing what it does to me.

Course does it really matter at all? Especially if we are enjoying each other?

Sorry for sounding philosophical, just pondering our reasons behind it all

Tae'lyn

[Silke]

Is it really an underlying need, though, that's triggered...or more the general dynamic of a D/s relationship? I mean, even the most mundane activities or things I really don't enjoy outside of this context become sexually charged and a big turn on when doing it for my Master. I'm pretty sure there's no underlying need or desire to do those things in and out of themselves, but it's the thought of doing it for him, of pleasing him, and the way he associates them with pleasure, that creates this desire in me.

It's interesting to look at how this works...blows my mind every time - ESPECIALLY when there are activities involved that make me go 'what the fuck is wrong with me for enjoying this?'. It makes me laugh...and makes me realize how much power he has over me and my reactions.

[pixie_dust]

While I have only recently discovered the pleasures of being in a D/s relationship, I can fully agree with the psychological aspect that you are referring to. Just thinking about the "mundane tasks" you speak about (before beginning them), I experience a great amount of excitement and stimulation. And I am amazed at how much more enjoyable they are to do, knowing that I am doing them to please my Master.

[Silke]

Just thinking about the "mundane tasks" you speak about (before beginning them), I experience a great amount of excitement and stimulation. And I am amazed at how much more enjoyable they are to do, knowing that I am doing them to please my Master.

Yeah, I'm with you, pixie_dust. Lol, and excitement and stimulation with mundane tasks like chores - what an achievement! I don't think I'll ever turn into a wife out of the 50's, though, no matter how much that might please a Dom. *chuckles*

[Warbaby1943]

I don't think I'll ever turn into a wife out of the 50's, though, no matter how much that might please a Dom. *chuckles*

That ain't all bad!!!! I spent an entire decade in the 50s. One good thing I do recall is that most mothers I knew back then didn't work outside the home. It could become one of your "likes."

[Avralivia]

Really ???? Then this must be yet another area in which I am weird.

fantassy

hehe me too, the more he makes me come the better, I find it very hard to have the first orgasm, but by the time im on my third they just flow

[Silke]

That ain't all bad!!!! I spent an entire decade in the 50s. One good thing I do recall is that most mothers I knew back then didn't work outside the home. It could become one of your "likes."

What could become one of my likes? Being a housewife? I think I'm not the type...hell, I'm not even the motherly type, lol. But if someone chooses that life and dedicates his/her life to the family and is happy with that...I think that's wonderful.