Is it topping from the bottom or orneriness?

[TomOfSweden]

My two cents is that people who are into topping from the bottom are completly different people than are into plain old D/s. I don't think it's a sexual flavour or something to spice up the life with. At least this is my experience.

Personally, it's not my cup of tea. Unquestioning obedience gets me a hard on. Opinionated wise-asses don't.

[gloombunny]

My two cents is that people who are into topping from the bottom are completly different people than are into plain old D/s. I don't think it's a sexual flavour or something to spice up the life with. At least this is my experience.

Personally, it's not my cup of tea. Unquestioning obedience gets me a hard on. Opinionated wise-asses don't.

You seem to have a pretty clear idea of what "topping from the bottom" is... could you define it or explain it to me? 'Cuz honestly, I have no idea what this phrase means, and it seems like even most people who use it aren't totally clear themselves.

This question also goes to anyone else who has a definite idea of the meaning. Tom's post just caught my eye especially.

[TomOfSweden]

You seem to have a pretty clear idea of what "topping from the bottom" is... could you define it or explain it to me? 'Cuz honestly, I have no idea what this phrase means, and it seems like even most people who use it aren't totally clear themselves.

This question also goes to anyone else who has a definite idea of the meaning. Tom's post just caught my eye especially.

It's when the sub tells the Dom what she/he wants to be done to her and the Master complys. For me domination is what is happening in the head. Whether we feel dominated or not, and not linked to who has the actual power. In any consensual relationship, power is equal because both parties know that the other will leave if they don't comply to their partners needs. It's the same deal with subs topping from the bottom. In this definition topping from the bottom is still the sub being dominated.

It's the kind of sex, (safe and sane) people have at BDSM clubs with new people, for a number of very obvious reasons. A standard Master/slave relationship needs to be built over time where the Master gradually knows which buttons to be pushed, preferably in a sober state. It needs very good comunication. Clubs don't provide these factors, (time and sobriety). Some subs are really into it but aren't for some reason willing to find a Master, (I can think of a million various reasons).

I've got a classic example. At last Rubberball a couple of months ago a friend of mine got picked up by a girl. She told him she needed whiping and she pulled him by his tie to the cross where she told him and me to tie her to it. She was very clear on that she wanted my friend and not me to whip her and she kept egging him on saying more and more all the time, until she was satisfied when she told him to stop. After which she said thanks, left us and went to join her company again. My friend was just the vessel holding the whip. At no point did his opinions come into play. But he didn't mind. The girl had a great ass!!!

But as I said earlier. In my opinion it's not a phase in a relationship, a flavour or some degree of slaviness. It's what people are into or aren't. Some slaves are really control-freaky and will not under any circumstances hand over power. I don't see them as worse slaves, just different, (having another Master than me!!!).

This is off-course my defintion. I'm sure someone else has a different one.