A plea for guidance

[cadence]

I wish there was something I could say to ease up your frustrations. I really do understand where you are coming from and how you feel.

It is extremely difficult to explain the dynamics of what being Submissive and being Dominant is. It is hard to place someone in that mindset when they have little interest in understanding it.

Like Sir Russel said though, keep doing submissive things for him. If it wasn't for me doing those small things to keep me satiated, I would have had to really think about staying in my relationship. He has even managed to destroy any bedroom play, by only doing the things he wants and being very satisfied with that, I end up being forgotten about. Now I have to figure out how to fix that.

He will probably never fully understand how I feel, but as long as that dynamic stays with us, I am content with it. There are no punishments, no rules, or rewards, just me doing what comes naturally, and he appreciates it.

Someone once told me that it may take years for someone who is not naturally drawn to the lifestyle (someone tell dynamicbuttler to cover his ears please) to become Dominant, and it is not a quick and easy process. That is something that I don't like to hear, but it is a fact that we have to deal with.

You know who you are and what you are, so take a step back, rethink and regroup, and don't stop being submissive. Dont give up and don't stop trying.

Or we can start a frustrated submissive thread and and bitch in it to our hearts content.

[jeanne]

Like Sir Russel said though, keep doing submissive things for him.

Or we can start a frustrated submissive thread and and bitch in it to our hearts content.

I am. I still take care of him in the same ways I have the last few months, just without the weight of my expectations.

Naw, no need to bitch. It'd be kinda pointless, wouldn't it? Wouldn't change anything and just get us all wound up.

lol if it doesn't work out let me know first. As close as I come to real begging

Sir_Russell, that's an awfully flattering offer. Very, very flattering, in fact. I'm sure you're aware of how much respect and caring I have for you. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) that position has already been filled.

[Sir_Russell]

[/QUOTE]
Sir_Russell, that's an awfully flattering offer. Very, very flattering, in fact. I'm sure you're aware of how much respect and caring I have for you. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) that position has already been filled.[/QUOTE]

jeanne that wasn't flattery nor a compliment just the truth, I too feel that way for you and have for quite some time. I guess I can relate as well as a Dom can I travel across country to be with morgan since she could not do without me only to be treated like dirt once I got here. Different sides to the same coin.

[Flaming_Redhead]

I guess I can relate as well as a Dom can I travel across country to be with morgan since she could not do without me only to be treated like dirt once I got here. Different sides to the same coin.

I can't even imagine that happening to you of all people! I'm shocked and appalled! I can definitely see it happening to someone like me which is probably why I don't go for the whole above and beyond thing for people. grrrr

[Ozme52]

Sir_Russell, that's an awfully flattering offer. Very, very flattering, in fact. I'm sure you're aware of how much respect and caring I have for you. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) that position has already been filled.

Someone got lucky methinks.

[jeanne]

Someone got lucky methinks.

I'd like to believe he feels that way, although I can be a lot of work.

[NightNurse]

Or we can start a frustrated submissive thread and and bitch in it to our hearts content.

I was just thinking this cadence..
I truly admire your persistence jeanne. I gave up long ago. (Maybe not that long ago but it seems like it) The difference is, I never got anywhere. Lots of steps back but none forward. The more I talked the more he shut down. I'm afraid it caused a lot of damage in our relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to say is at least he tried for you- so maybe there is hope after all...

[jeanne]

I took some time to think about everyone's comments...

I'm sure though that if your relationship is a good one and your husband wants you to be happy, he'll try and find ways over time to find some middle ground with you.

Our relationship is good, but I'm not looking for half-hearted from him. As thrall said:

"if you don't want this for yourself, than its not worth my having."

I agree with her. He doesn't get that the thrill for me would be that he wanted it, wanted all of me and even more...and took it.

I think Oz comes closest to the answer

Hmmm. I don't like to admit that, no ma'am I don't. It sure does seem like we're all on a "Oz is right" kick here in the forums lately. He's going to become conceited.

jeanne that wasn't flattery nor a compliment just the truth, I too feel that way for you and have for quite some time. I guess I can relate as well as a Dom can I travel across country to be with morgan since she could not do without me only to be treated like dirt once I got here. Different sides to the same coin.

Well, Sir_Russell, you got a blush out of me. Not an easy thing to do. I am still so sorry about your relationship with morgan - I know you care for her very deeply.

The more I talked the more he shut down. I'm afraid it caused a lot of damage in our relationship.

We were getting to that point. Damaging.

Figuring it out, just not very well yet,
jeanne

[Ozme52]

It sure does seem like we're all on a "Oz is right" kick here in the forums lately. He's going to become conceited.

Who me?

[tessa]

jeanne, I just want to give you a big hug and tell you it's going to work out like you want. While the hug is entirely do-able, the other is on iffy ground at the moment. I can say that I will keep hoping it will all work out like you want.

I think I'm on surer footing when I say 'he' knows he got lucky where you're concerned and doesn't see you as 'work'.

~huggles~
tessa