Whippett's 1st Assignment

[Whippett]

Grin, No problems Mad and H. Just pointing out that he abomination of grammar known to the world as "American English" is not my native tongue (come on - how can anyone take seriously a country that can't even spell its favourite food - its doughnut - not donut: neughbour not neighbor and night not nite to cite just three examples).

As to pandering to American grammatical rules? Hmmmmm - do you guys translate Dickens, Hardy, Delderfield and the like to American from the correct and beautiful English in which they were written. Next you'll be telling me you don't read Dostoyevski, Lou Tsu or Neruda in the original. ROTFLMAO.

I can just see the American Translation of "A Tale of Two Cities"

The beautiful, flowing "It was the best of days, it was the worst of days..." with which that book opens would likely be translated to

It was day. Her tits are huge. "Fuck, I'm drunk" he groaned.

However, in the interests of international harmony, I will seriously contemplate having my work translated into American if English is too difficult for the majority of readers. Could you suggest a reputable firm of translators?

I would, however, appreciate a lexicon - I'd hate to confuse you totally by using words you misuse - 'How I loved all the American chicklets in London who blithely talked about their fanny packs in crowded bars' - a constant source of amusement since they had the same clue as the proverbial blonde when it came to understading the mirth of those around them.

I have heard of some fairly reputable (if simplistic) styles of grammer, Strunk and White for example. If that is the preferred style of the folk here, then I'll dig out my copy and review it.

Oh, and Dean, may I suggest a good picture book for you - called an Atlas. It has pictures that are not confined to 48 conjoned pieces of land provinvially referred to as "states" and show that Alaska is actualy not an island at all, but a peninsula. If you choose something that does not have the words "Rand McNally" on the cover, you might actualy discover that that body of water on the right side of the page is not a river, but an Ocean called "The Atlantic, and there are places on the other side of it. One of those places is sometimes referred to as 'The United Kingdom". There are two rival towns there - one is Oxford, one is Cambridge - the original Cambridge, not the pale imitation found in the Boston area. The original Cambridge has a real university as well (unlike the imitation in the US which has a glorified high school with pretensions of grandeur).

Ah well, as literate folk often say, plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose - or - in Russian - ti shto mumu yebyosh.... rotflmao

[Mad Lews]

I can just see the American Translation of "A Tale of Two Cities"

The beautiful, flowing "It was the best of days (times?), it was the worst of days(times?)..." with which that book opens would likely be translated to

It was day. Her tits are huge. "Fuck, I'm drunk" he groaned.

Actually this classic was translated in the comic book Sgt. Fury and the Howling Commandos # 37 , way back in '68 I believe it opened with the sentence

"Another *!#*&*! Snafu." (at the time fucking, and even efing were not appropriate in comic books so a more modern translation might actually be "another fucking snafu")

snafu loosely translates to "Situation normal all fucked up."

No ethanol was involved but we're not sure what was inside the cigar.

just for your edification,

Mad