Why hide?

[TomOfSweden]

Icey: Thank you for the post. I enjoyed your "long-winded ramblings." Truthfully I don't care to have a D/s or "traditional" relationship with him anymore. There is too much history there (17 yrs) to even want to try. I just need to quit dicking around and make some decisions instead of letting guilt keep me in the marriage.

he he. If you've been with the same guy for 17 years and the sex still ain't working... well... then how could you possible feel guilty for leaving? He's not being manipulative by any chance? Or are you one of those who worry about everything?

[Cicily]

he he. If you've been with the same guy for 17 years and the sex still ain't working... well... then how could you possible feel guilty for leaving? He's not being manipulative by any chance? Or are you one of those who worry about everything?

There is more to marriage than non-existent orgasms. (Isn't that why God created fingers, vibrators, and hand-held showerheads? )

I feel guilty because he is my friend and I have been with him for half of my life. He is a good guy, just not good for me.

He is not manipulative, just very dependent on me for his stability and happiness. (No one can make you happy but yourself. I know this, he doesn't.) I have never been a worrier. I am laid back, loyal, outgoing, determined, and nuturing. I always take care of everyone around me. I guess that is another reason for the guilt. I don't want to take care of him anymore.

[jeanne]

There is more to marriage than non-existent orgasms. (Isn't that why God created fingers, vibrators, and hand-held showerheads? )

I feel guilty because he is my friend and I have been with him for half of my life. He is a good guy, just not good for me.

He is not manipulative, just very dependent on me for his stability and happiness. (No one can make you happy but yourself. I know this, he doesn't.) I have never been a worrier. I am laid back, loyal, outgoing, determined, and nuturing. I always take care of everyone around me. I guess that is another reason for the guilt. I don't want to take care of him anymore.

I think you're my twin. I'm in the same boat - the vanilla sex is fine, but he's not a Dom, so when he tries to get kinky on me, it feels wrong. Besides, "kinky" is not my thing - submission is.

For now I'm utilizing the "submission outside of my marriage" option. And no, he doesn't know. I have a very satisfying, very intense, very happy long-distance D/s relationship. We're fortunate that we're able to spend a few days or a week together every few months, and in-between we stay in touch on a daily basis. He is the perfect Dom for me. And I'm grateful for Him.