I think you're my twin. I'm in the same boat - the vanilla sex is fine, but he's not a Dom, so when he tries to get kinky on me, it feels wrong. Besides, "kinky" is not my thing - submission is.
For now I'm utilizing the "submission outside of my marriage" option. And no, he doesn't know. I have a very satisfying, very intense, very happy long-distance D/s relationship. We're fortunate that we're able to spend a few days or a week together every few months, and in-between we stay in touch on a daily basis. He is the perfect Dom for me. And I'm grateful for Him.![]()