Disabilities and BDSM

[nighttimestar]

The reason I ask this i because I want to enter into the lifestyle with honestly and trust. And I do believe it is important the person you are either playing with or are with has the right knows. But my question is how do you tell them, when do you tell ? Should be specific like these are the meds i take and the docs I see? Or is it more like "ya i have a GAD and it is currently being treating."

My assumption on why i have this is 2 reasons, one gentics, and 2 i try to hide from my wants and ignore them so they will go away, but they don't my feelings grow stronger and stronger. And need to expressed, my fear is it becoming exposed to people that know. But I at this point in my like am willing to take that risk.

And when this happens the logic side kicks in and tell me to proceed with caution, trust your gut.

So in my case it difficult to disguish what is what? I can be frustrated at some times are scary because your mind races with erotic fanasties and the then the more morbid thoughts of what could go wrong.

[icey]

The reason I ask this i because I want to enter into the lifestyle with honestly and trust. And I do believe it is important the person you are either playing with or are with has the right knows. But my question is how do you tell them, when do you tell ? Should be specific like these are the meds i take and the docs I see?
.

an email like shygreeneyedgirl said could be a good way of doing it however it might help to prepare him a bit first otherwise he's going to get a bit of a shock.
maybe you could put in a link to a good educational site, one that deals clearly with the facts and keeps things simple, support sites for partners and such can be helpful but can also be very emotional and probably a bit overpowering to begin with.

you should tell him you are on meds,you dont need to go into great detail,he will probably ask you about them and possible side effects anyway.

research different types of bdsm play,know any limits, i dont mean in the usual sense im mean practically anything you think might be a trigger,
be open and explain that there will possibly be times playing would not be possible explain the whys and wherefores.
perhaps suggest that if/when you're 'manic' (if that applys to you) that some ..not too many..set tasks rules etc might help keep you more steady something to concentrate on.
more and more people now are 'accepting' of people with mental health problems but it is frightening for a lot of people,they are not sure how they're supposed to deal with it should anything go wong, what if you (to put it bluntly..no offence, most people say it about themselves lol!) throw a 'divvy fit' on them etc?
im guessing if you're on meds and such its fairly under control, and you're able to spot the warning signs in advance? if so then you could teach you're partner how to spot these, he will soon learn to recognise them.

and importantly even though its difficult encourage him to ask questions, many people are afraid to they are often worried they might upset you or are not sure what to ask, but they need to know and you need to know that they know ..if that makes any sense to you lol

it is hard, and i can really empathise with you,you dont want to tell people you dont know that well something so personal and sensitive but if you leave things too long they wont trust you and there's always the possibility that without all the facts things could go badly wrong, forewarned is forearmed as they say.
dont allow anyone to think that because you're getting treated and are on meds that you will 'get better' because as you know it wont it will always be there.

and if a partner cant deal with it for whatever the reason then that partner is not right for you and its better you know that sooner rather than later.

at the beginning of relationships a lot of 'new' subs find it very hard to be clear about what they want/dont want and sometimes in the beginning find themselves in situations that arnt comfortable or right for them, there torn because they feel that as the sub they should be doing anything and everything they should and dont have the 'right' or 'courage' to speak out which is wrong and any Dom worth his salt will tell you that but you need to communicate clearly if you dont he's not a mindreader and cant second guess everything! i did it and im guessing a large percentage of us have.
in your case as in mine it is doubly impotant that you dont fall into that trap.

there are a lot of pitfalls and it isnt easy but dont give up dont hide from your wants/needs you've acknowledged them and the possible problems which is the hardest part so you're strong enough to act on them

you'll probably be surprised, you're not the only one unfortunately there seems to be quite a few subs out there who have 'issues' and people are much more likely to be accepting and understanding of it than the 'vanillas'
things can and will work and you'll be fine,like anything else in life you just have to take that chance, there's nothing wrong with you, you just have a few extra hurdles to jump thats all.

remember nothings ever quite as bad as it seems, look forwards and not back!

i'll jump off my soap box now!!

[Tojo]

Outstanding post icey!

Good thread Gr1m'sGirl- it doesn't matter if it's been brought up before.

Everyone has some kind of limitation, few of us are contortionists & few of us are free from some kind of sexual repression & who can say we're perfectly balanced in an emotional sense?

If I was still looking to be restrained in any way it'd be hard, I have a limited range of movement in my neck & shoulders. That's easy, I no longer have any interest in subbing!

What burns me up is my wife's disabilities- she's finally gotten to the point where she feels safe enough to be tied up & so forth, but her body isn't healthy enough any more. We just don't do it, her bones are so weak she could break something.

A funny story- years ago when I used to like being tied up, I had the perfect friend who was happy to do it & even tease me a little. Just one problem, she had epilepsy! I was always worried that she'd have a seizure when I was tied to a chair or whatever, leaving me stuck there until she (hopefully) came out of it!