Reconciling Conflicting Ideals

[Virulent]

if we are talking "play" I have been treated "differently", that doesn't mean worse.

Are there any hierarchies in play? If I (consensually) spit in a sub's face, do you consider her to be an equal partner in the spitting?

I get pleasure from submitting, he gets pleasure dominating, isn't that equal exchange?

In your opinion, is there a rational limit to the equitable exchange in play, or is any consensual act between two individuals non-hierarchical? If there is a limit, where do you draw the line, and by what rationale?

[AdrianaAurora]

Are there any hierarchies in play? If I (consensually) spit in a sub's face, do you consider her to be an equal partner in the spitting?

In your opinion, is there a rational limit to the equitable exchange in play, or is any consensual act between two individuals non-hierarchical? If there is a limit, where do you draw the line, and by what rationale?

Strictly speaking in the context of a consensual BDSM and my own personal preference view of such relationship...

Are there any hierarchies in play? Its a bit of a moot point. Yes, I submit, I respond to his dominant chemistry and behavior, I obey and do things I find difficult and wouldn't do otherwise, things where he pushes me out of my comfort zone. But make no mistake if he did something to cross an absolutely untouchable limit (for myself) I would have no problem taking control and top/ over domme him. Its not that I cant dominate or take control, I can and can do it well, but I am not dominant, it does nothing for me. I get no satisfaction from it. Our dichotomy seems to be, you see it as a vertical, while to me D/s is a horizontal power exchange.

He says it better:

This is about love and partnership. Your commitment to me is based on the surrender of self. But you are to be only submissive, not subservient. I am not a god to be worshiped and you should not appear to be a lamb being led to the slaughter. Personally submissive but equal in all else. One role doesn’t over shadows the other. You are mine. Mine alone. There is no life for either without the other.