Biggest problem in BDSM or Lifestyle

[hopperboo]

It's not just you.

That is my biggest thing too, finding someone compatible. I want a nice in-between. Someone who can have kinky sex, who is dominant, but yet who is...eh. Not too extreme.

I also tend to shy away from people in the Lifestyle, only because I get nervous that I am not viewed as a person, more of a thing that can be thrown out when they are done playing. I've had that experience online before and I am not eager to see how much more it hurts in real life.

Plus I am kind of a chicken. I went to a munch once, but between being uncomfortable in general and not being able to get over hearing the word "flogging" out loud I don't think that is where I will find anyone. *Blush*

I want someone to fall into my lap. Or on the ground next to me so I don't get squished.

[fetishdj]

It's not just you.

That is my biggest thing too, finding someone compatible. I want a nice in-between. Someone who can have kinky sex, who is dominant, but yet who is...eh. Not too extreme.

I also tend to shy away from people in the Lifestyle, only because I get nervous that I am not viewed as a person, more of a thing that can be thrown out when they are done playing. I've had that experience online before and I am not eager to see how much more it hurts in real life.

Plus I am kind of a chicken. I went to a munch once, but between being uncomfortable in general and not being able to get over hearing the word "flogging" out loud I don't think that is where I will find anyone. *Blush*

I want someone to fall into my lap. Or on the ground next to me so I don't get squished.

I am surprised you had these problems at a munch. The environment is usually supposed to be set so as to avoid this sort of feeling.

I am also shocked that you have been seen as a 'thing'. Most good Doms I have known do not have that attitude (unless the sub wants it) and respect and value their subs dearly.

Not everyone in the lifestyle is an extreme proponent. There are many with middle gears. I for example, have never felt the urge or need to nail my balls to a plank of wood yet this is the media perception of male masochists due to some idiots in Germany.