Hey I understand where your comming from although I am completely new to BDSM lifestyle. I feel similar to what your expressing and kinda still feel lost and wanting more than just "business" so to speak. This site is pretty helpful and alot of the people are really friendly. Maybe if you poke around here and keep your eye out you may find what your looking for. I wish you the best on your search and if you need to talk you can message me or keep posting on the forums or pop in the chats.

Good luck hun