How do you know whether you are sub or dom or switch?

[Ozme52]

I think you'll know when you feel it... You may never feel your dominant side... until that moment you meet a person who naturally submits to you.

And, it's a different question than the purely play side of topping and bottoming. Not all tops are dominant, not all bottoms are submissive. I know that sounds strange, but some subs enjoy giving pain under orders from their dom/me (often to third parties.) And some dominants enjoy sensation play you ordinarily think of as masochistic.

Don't let labels put limits on your explorations.

So you question isn't really all that confusing... but maybe the answer is.

And even then, if one would find that dominating is not his thing, can a person learn to enjoy it?

I know a number of submissive women married to submissive men... and they'll gladly top them out of love... after all... that's what subs do... they give. No doubt some will be able to chime in on how enjoyable (or not) they find it...

[snowflake]

I think you'll know when you feel it... You may never feel your dominant side... until that moment you meet a person who naturally submits to you.

And, it's a different question than the purely play side of topping and bottoming. Not all tops are dominant, not all bottoms are submissive. I know that sounds strange, but some subs enjoy giving pain under orders from their dom/me (often to third parties.) And some dominants enjoy sensation play you ordinarily think of as masochistic.

Don't let labels put limits on your explorations.

So you question isn't really all that confusing... but maybe the answer is.



I know a number of submissive women married to submissive men... and they'll gladly top them out of love... after all... that's what subs do... they give. No doubt some will be able to chime in on how enjoyable (or not) they find it...

i agree Ozme52.. To please your Dom/me is you main goal as a sub.. If he wants you to top someone .. including him/her.. you do it .. out of love, the want and need to please him/her and the want to give ..

To serve his/her wishes is to please him/her..and the main part of being a sub is to please him/her .. whether you may like it or not.. Unless it is an agreement that you would never have to top that was previously set in limits then to not do it would be letting your Dom/me down i would think .. an uncompleted task.. Knowing i had let him/her down and not completing my task.. i would feel i failed him/her and i would feel disappointed in myself..

and you are right Ozme you won't feel that Dom/me side until you have someone that submits to you..

Just my opinion

hugs
snow

[samm]

Thanks for your answers everyone

Still some reflection about this

some subs enjoy giving pain under orders from their dom/me (often to third parties.)

I don't see this as the sub being dominant, do you? It is more like: "I'm sorry I hurt you, but my D makes me do it." I don't think this makes the sub feel dominant towards the third person, they are more or less at the same level with the dominant on top of them both.

To get back to how do you know whether you are a sub, dom or switch, I guess experience must tell. Since I only know that I like being tied up and having a girl in control and such, I know that I am submissive, but I am curious whether dominating someone else can be fun too.

[snowflake]

i have been a submissive for over 20yrs hun closer to 25 yrs and for me.. yes it can when i am told to especially in the right mood..

But if i am in total sub zone it is not as fun as one may think... i find it near impossible...

So i guess it depends on the situation the mood in the air as well if you are a sub and if it makes you happy to please your Dom by doing so..

Hope this helps a tiny bit at least

hugs
snow