Assertive Submissive?

[jeanne]

Cinq,

You are on an exploration of yourself. Don't worry if you are confused - it can take time to find your 'level'. I will ask of you one thing - don't get too wound around the axle over definitions. And definitely don't start thinking that because you don't meet some other person's definition that you are 'not submissive enough'. You are you. Enjoy the learning of you, love yourself just as you are today, and keep an open mind to the possibilities.

And most of all - have fun! Our sexuality is a constant wonder and gift. Enjoy it.


jeanne

[leah06]

I agree with Jeanne about not feeling like you have to fit yourself into a particular definition, but for me, when someone just in passing on this site mentioned the difference between a bedroom or sexual submissive and a service submissive, it was really helpful to me.

Maybe you're not a service submissive, or maybe you're still exploring, but there's certainly nothing wrong with bedroom submission. And in my experience, sometimes the very men who like you to be in charge in the relationship really enjoy being in charge in the bedroom, once you've given them permission.

[jeanne]

I agree with Jeanne about not feeling like you have to fit yourself into a particular definition, but for me, when someone just in passing on this site mentioned the difference between a bedroom or sexual submissive and a service submissive, it was really helpful to me.

Maybe you're not a service submissive, or maybe you're still exploring, but there's certainly nothing wrong with bedroom submission. And in my experience, sometimes the very men who like you to be in charge in the relationship really enjoy being in charge in the bedroom, once you've given them permission.

I agree - definitions concerning 'type' of submission are helpful. I was referring to those horrid (yes, my opinion only!) threads about submissive vs. slave - and the implied and overt theme of slaves being 'better' than submissives.

I think I just injected my own issues into this thread...so I'll stop now!

[blythe spirit]

Don't worry if you are confused - it can take time to find your 'level'.

Oh, I definitely agree with this. Ummmm - let's see I've been in a state of confusion for years now. Seems that different Dominants bring out different aspects of my submissiveness, but I've yet to find a dominant that can get to my inner core.