Is experience always helpful?

[Pearlgem]

Experience was a negative for me when I was single and looking for a long-term partner -- but I have a strong "corruption of the innocent"-kink going and a teaching-drive, so, in general, I was looking for those relatively new to the lifestyle in order to satisfy that.

When I did play with experienced submissives, it was primarily casual, so in that context it was a plus. When the scene you're about to have is going to be about the extent of things, and not the start of many more to come, it's nice to be able to intelligently discuss limits, interests and tolerances. Knowing someone is experienced enough to accurately relate what she can take is extremely helpful.

For a new dominant, it's extremely helpful to play with an experienced submissive, because of the guidance the dominant can receive. Not "topping from the bottom", but feedback.

The claims of experience, especially online, I've found to often be inflated, or entirely fabricated. I never take those claims at face-value, I always assume there's some exaggeration until I've observed someone enough to judge their experience for myself or someone I trust vouches for them.

Not just accepting someone's own evaluation of their experience level, without either personal observation or independent confirmation is important for both dominants and submissives. Assuming your partner has more experience than they do can have unpleasant results in either role.

Thanks for the response, Rago. It's good to get a cogent reply that a)helps and b)confirms what I've been suspecting. Newish to the site as I am, even I have seen through almost completely fabricated or inflated claims of experience which were in fact merely wishful thinking. Nothing wrong with ambition, but I've learned two clear things, I guess:

1 To make my own mind up about how much I believe what people say on here.
2 To remember that it's not experience so much as personal compatibility that matters.

Here's another question on the same theme:

Can on-line experiences equate in any way to the real life thing, or are they always going to be poor relations? On-line is made for discussion, but is there really any substitute for the smell of HIS skin in your nostrils, the feel of HER wetness on your fingers?

[jeanne]

Can on-line experiences equate in any way to the real life thing, or are they always going to be poor relations? On-line is made for discussion, but is there really any substitute for the smell of HIS skin in your nostrils, the feel of HER wetness on your fingers?

At the risk of being booed out of the forums...

No, it isn't the same. Can the emotion be there? Most definitely. But, I am a real-world, physical person, and for me, the face-to-face interactions are necessary. To be physically controlled by Him - there is no substitute.