Top/bottom vs D/s

[blythe spirit]

I'm trying to understand this as well. Topping/bottoming is a game you play online or in r/l? D/s is a lifestyle?

[SilverWulf]

I'm trying to understand this as well. Topping/bottoming is a game you play online or in r/l? D/s is a lifestyle?

Topping/bottoming is done in real life, face to face with someone you are playing with. I would have a very hard time imagining a true Top/bottom interaction online (ok, other than some of the games that go on here in chat... lol).

D/s is most definitely a lifestyle for some people. For some, it permeates their everyday life in ways they cannot even define.

[leah06]

I wondered about this too. I was at this horrible munch over the weekend and when I left several people encouraged me to check out a local dungeon, which I said I'd think about, and then one guy asked if I was a top or a bottom, and I said, I'm submissive. As I left I thought about this.

First, given the distinctions that have been made on this thread, I clearly am submissive, but also, for me the pain or sensation aspect is not really thrilling in itself, without the aspect of submission and pleasing another person. I couldn't imagine - at the moment, I seem to be in a very fluid time of my life - having someone hurt my body for MY pleasure.

So I wonder, does "bottom" imply enjoying the physical sensations of s/m interactions, or did this just arise in the context of my conversation because I was, after all, being invited to a dungeon? Maybe "sub" allows for enjoying the D/s dynamic without implying a pure physical enjoyment of every sensation?

I know that in another thread there was a discussion of when a Dom might choose to bottom in a sexual interaction, or when a sub might be allowed/required to top.

[ghostgirl]

I couldn't imagine - at the moment, I seem to be in a very fluid time of my life - having someone hurt my body for MY pleasure.

Some would say this attitude simply means you haven't yet discovered your inner masochist.

[Flaming_Redhead]

So I wonder, does "bottom" imply enjoying the physical sensations of s/m interactions, or did this just arise in the context of my conversation because I was, after all, being invited to a dungeon? Maybe "sub" allows for enjoying the D/s dynamic without implying a pure physical enjoyment of every sensation?

Bottoms are masochists, but not all are submissive. Some submissives are also masochists, but not all of them are. Most tops are sadists, but not all are dominant just as all dominants are not sadists. We haven't even mentioned switches, yet! *lol*

Dungeon play is typically about S&M, not D/s. There are some couples who practice D/s without any S&M, such as 1950s household (head of household). You also have Domestic Discipline, which involves corporal punishment but usually not play. If you can think of a dynamic, chances are it's being done by someone..somwhere..