what was the hardest part...

[BryansGrrrl]

The hardest part for me so far came today, actually.

We just had a weekend together and He went home yesterday. He was very tired & needed to recover, sleep and feel better. Honestly, so did I but I am at work.

The NEED for him is the hard part.

I love him. I worship him. He's my heart and my breath. But I had not realized just how much I depend on him because he has never NOT been there before. We talk every day, for hours. On the phone and on messenger. Not having him today was just... unbearable. And I was upset with myself for needing him so badly. I wanted him to get well, why was I being so needy when he needed time for himself?

He has been reassuring me, telling me he loves that I need him so much. That he loves me.

I have never needed anyone this much in my entire life. I'm very much an independent woman.

*sigh*

This will take some mental gymnastics to get used to. I'm sure there will be more challenges to come, but this was the hardest one to date.

[jeanne]

The NEED for him is the hard part.
.
.
And I was upset with myself for needing him so badly. I wanted him to get well, why was I being so needy when he needed time for himself?
.
.
I have never needed anyone this much in my entire life. I'm very much an independent woman.

*sigh*

This will take some mental gymnastics to get used to. I'm sure there will be more challenges to come, but this was the hardest one to date.

I could have written this a year ago. In fact, I may have! Thanks for sharing, and for reminding me how far I've come.

I'm more comfortable with the need now.

[lucy]

After reading through this thread i'm not sure anymore what was or is the hardest part. I thought it was admitting my submissiveness to myself, but other things seem to be just as hard. Like calling myself names or being separated from Master when he's on business travels abroad.
But i learned that as hard as those things might have been, i managed to go through them. Or at least i'm learning how to deal with them. And that gives me a lot of confidence for the future.

[claire]

I agree with a lot that was said in the above posts. Maybe the hardest part for me is believing any one would want me. Me with all my flaws, with this huge body of mine, with all my hang ups and insecurities, with my inexperience, with my resistance and smart mouth, with my self-centeredness, with my laziness.... well you get the idea no need to bore you with the inexhaustable list of my flaws.

Next to that is probably living the reality of a relationship as opposed to my extensive fantasies