Safety-nets for 1st meetings

[ppr128]

Indeed. And if I may expand on that, I've seen a certain mentality amongs new submissives, be they male or female, that they must obey any and all dom/mes and aren't allowed to have their own likes, dislikes, limits, and what-have-you.

BDSM is a heady cocktail, and when it's combined with that, it can be a recipe for trouble. Then, too, if you are attracted to or infatuated with your playmate, it can be easy to abandon your instincts for self-preservation...

I think the key is just to try and take it slow. Anyone worth talking to, let alone playing with, will be more than understanding; if they just want to jump right in, that should set the alarm bells to ringing.

Oh, and just so that everyone reading this thread can say "Thanks for the BLAZING INSIGHT, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!" make sure you've both filled in and exchanged a checklist before you play. Those things are invaluable, and an absolute Godsend for avoiding garbled communication.

[angelic.zest]

Indeed. And if I may expand on that, I've seen a certain mentality amongs new submissives, be they male or female, that they must obey any and all dom/mes and aren't allowed to have their own likes, dislikes, limits, and what-have-you.

Even thought my experience has been limited to online play and very few encounters in real time. I can totally agree with that statement. I am a bigheaded female, i am also very selfish, and stuborn and i complain alot, I MEAN alot. But I do like to please and i want to find someone to please, that doesnt mean that i want to forget about myself but i just want to make sure that i find someone that when i am around them. I feel the need to want to do what they ask, and not just do it because I dont want to be alone at the moment.
Being a newbie in this lifestyle with very limited real time experience, makes finding my limits hard since i have yet to have them explored but I still think being conscious of my surroundings and of the person i am playing with will help make things alot safer for the both of us.