How to be safe?

[thir]

I feel about 10 years old for even having to make a thread to ask this, but always better safe than sorry I guess...

Yes, indeed ;-)

I want to try to find that in a relationship again - where BDSM is just in the bedroom and is a personal aspect of our lives - however the predicament is that the very process of finding someone into BDSM (at a munch, night event etc.) surely contradicts the personal aspect?

I assume you have considered looking on the various sites where people are looking for partners? There is one here as well.

Why not talk to people on-line, also about non-bdsm things, get to know them to some extent, while still nothing more than an online-name to each other. Talk about your needs, and let them express theirs. It can be nice or tedious, but you cannot really avoid this phase.

Then meet in a public place the first time, and possibly more times.

After that it may be time to take the leap but yes, I'd say do let someone know where you are! Maybe you need not tell them what for, it is a resonable safety precausion also for vanilla first-private-meetings.

If your potential new dom does not like this, or is adamant about how you should 'trust him', I'd consider whether I wanted a dom who cannot understand the safety issues of a sub.

[ar1]

I assume you have considered looking on the various sites where people are looking for partners? There is one here as well.

Why not talk to people on-line, also about non-bdsm things, get to know them to some extent, while still nothing more than an online-name to each other. Talk about your needs, and let them express theirs. It can be nice or tedious, but you cannot really avoid this phase.

Then meet in a public place the first time, and possibly more times.

I haven't considered looking online for partners, I've always had reservations about dating sites and stuff but now you mention it, within this kind of context it could actually work really well. There is more of a need to keep it private here than in the case of a regular vanilla lifestyle where you could go anywhere anytime and easily meet potential partners. OK so you have seriously got me thinking now, but the one thing I'd find a bit weird would be, for example, putting a post out there (or a profile or whatever), having a number of replies and then striking up conversation with lots of people (potential partners) at once. With each person there'd be the unspoken implication that it could go further since that was the nature from which contact started. Could that pose a problem later on? Ideas? Thank you :-)

[thir]

[QUOTE=ami_r90;906148 OK so you have seriously got me thinking now, but the one thing I'd find a bit weird would be, for example, putting a post out there (or a profile or whatever), having a number of replies and then striking up conversation with lots of people (potential partners) at once. With each person there'd be the unspoken implication that it could go further since that was the nature from which contact started. Could that pose a problem later on? Ideas? Thank you :-)[/QUOTE]

I do not see why. You have not promised anybody anything at that stage.

If you do start to get serious with someone though, you should be honest about whether you are seeing or talking to others.