Castle Island

[Venom]

It is not the kind of story I prefer, but of course this doesn't say anything about its general quality (which is rather high). It is well-written and shows a reader-friendly structure -- e.g. blank lines above and below direct speech. There are, though, some minor things I would revise, for example:

I "recruit" beautiful young women - and men, to Isla Castilla.

Better write 'I "recruit" beautiful young women and men to Isla Castilla' or 'I "recruit" beautiful young women -- and men -- to Isla Castilla'.

All in all a narration worth reading.

[LadyArana]

There are, though, some minor things I would revise, for example:

I "recruit" beautiful young women - and men, to Isla Castilla.

Better write 'I "recruit" beautiful young women and men to Isla Castilla' or 'I "recruit" beautiful young women -- and men -- to Isla Castilla'.

All in all a narration worth reading.

Thank you very much for your criticism. I struggled with that part, and I will certainly take your revision under consideration.