new, need help

[sexkitten89]

I am new to the lifestyle.
Background: I've been married to my husband for 3 years now. He was the 1st guy to take my virginity and everything. I absolutely love him. He was actually the one to suggest that I was a submissive. So I started thinking about it. I then read some erotic literature on it, and all the submissive stuff really turned me on, even the stuff I personally thought was way to overboard for me. Well, he slowly pushed me into bondage and spanking. Both of which I absolutely love. Then it was like another person can into his body, and he completely stopped. So I was frustrated and started dropping hints that I wanted it to continue. Well, we spent 2 years of our marriage away from each other while he was in Japan due to the military. When he came back the change occurred. We've talked about it, but he just seems to not know what to do any more. He first started ordering me about all the time, which didn't work. He would do it in front of other people for completely nonsexual things. I wasn't ready to tell anyone anything, so it just looked like my husband was a jerk. Then he started trying again, but he would be hurtful. He would call me names, say I was lazy, etc. He could tell I didn't like it, and he thank God stopped.

Now: Well, we made it one of our New Year resolutions to completely try the lifestyle because I feel like that's what I want. I've become really emotional lately because of the lack. So, he told me last night to find out either information on doing it properly or a book, or whatever to figure this out.

Please, help. I will take any suggestions. I want him to push me to my limits and beyond, but I don't want him to think it's okay for other people to know what we do unless we agree before hand. Also, I don't want the mean name calling.

[denuseri]

Barnes and Noble has a fair selection of self help bdsm works available such as "The Loving Dominant" which may be of help to you both.

I also highly reccomend that your husband also joins the site here with you and that you both spend some time reaserching in the forums and perhaps in the chatroom (especially if one is looking for an imediate responce) on those topics that you find of intrest.

[sexkitten89]

thank you!

[BryansGrrrl]

Agreed, the Loving Dominant is a great book. And if you can't find them @ Borders or BN, Amazon may have some answers. The Bottoming Book is great for absolute beginners.