Quote Originally Posted by StormKat View Post

I'd recommend you start with the BDSM checklist thread in the forums, which is a massive list of all kinds of kinky things. You'll probably have to look some of them up online - I certainly did! You assign a rating to each activity, indicating things you've done, how much you like it, or how much you'd like to try it.

You & your boyfriend can each complete the checklist individually & then compare notes to see where your interests overlap. Those mutual activities can give you a good starting point towards stepping into the BDSM pool. It should also provide some clarity around those items you consider a hard limit - the "no, no, hell no" category.
Yep. This was also my first suggestion. But not just start with this. Revisit it oftne. Update it. Think about the things you initially said "no-no" to. Don't be shy about changing it to "no-curious" or even "no-that's hot" if you saw or read about a scene and you want to reconsider. And by the same token don't hesitate to change something into a limit if you hated the activity having tried it. There is so much to try, it is rare that eliminating a single class of activities will leave your partner "unfullfilled".
Definitely also set up a safeword, a word you can say that will make your boyfriend stop what he's doing immediately so you guys can talk about what happened that you didn't like or that scared you.
Not to mention that a safeword is an excellent way to let your dom know to keep going (by not uttering it) when you may be otherwise unable to express yourself rationally other than knowing you want more of the same.
From personal experience, if he says he doesn't do safewords, walk away now. Especially when this stuff is new to you, it's important to have a way to make something that feels wrong stop!
Definitely. IMO, safewords should be "required" between new couples.