Quote Originally Posted by openyoureyes View Post
I agree, though I think a part of it is family issues as well. I talked with my sister when I first found out, and her reaction was "You know the things he wants to call you in bed, right?" and it was like, "You think that's all he wants to do??" But it's not something I feel I can really discuss indepth with the people who are closest to me. One of my closest friends, who has even dabbled with BDSM had the reaction of "You need to get out of this relationship before it turns abusive" and it irks me that people assume just because you're in a BDSM relationship it means you're either a victim or an abuser.

Even though I *know* all of these things and don't think what I'm doing is wrong, it doesn't evoke good feelings to know I have to hide a part of myself from friends/family.
When I first started dating my little one, every single person I knew told me it wouldn't work because it was a rebound relationship (I was single for only a month after a three-year previous relationship). Except for my best friend. She gave me the best advice I ever got: "No one can tell you who your heart loves except yourself."

So the advice of friends and family, though useful to an extent, only goes so far. If you are happy, and he is happy, then don't listen to the rest of them.

I can understand how not talking about the BDSM aspect of your relationship might feel like "hiding"...but it isn't. As brwneydgirl pointed out with such clarity, you're just not talking about your bedroom life with them; it's not as if you're hiding your entire relationship with your boyfriend.

After our last session he did ask me if I wanted to talk about what happened (it was the first time I'd been 'punished' for not doing what he told me to), but I told him I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. I find it very hard to articulate my feelings to him, especially when he is right there.
First, I think it's awesome that he's the one who came to you and asked you how you felt. He sounds like gold; hang on to him!

Second, sometimes it's hard to talk about things that are so new and could feel embarrassing or shameful or whatever. Try writing him a letter, or an e-mail, or as was suggested by someone somewhere, an IM conversation. Sometimes it can be so much easier to talk when you're not face-to-face. Eventually, the face-to-face will come.

Kudos to you, and keep at it!