For me, I didn't understand what being submissive meant. I tried hiding behind vanilla relationships where the men in my life, could not 'handle' me, and/or would turn into very bad experiences in their attempt to force submission out of me. So I let go of any type of relationship for a long time, focused on my family and career, which in some ways has been beneficial, but I knew that something was lacking - an elusive wisp of an existence that I was searching for....

Ironically, I was to discover the possibilities through a chat room on a vanilla site. I was going about the chat room... as I have always done... <inserting a comment here... or my opinion there..> but on this day, someone had made a comment about flogging someone else in the room... and my eyes perked up, and I made a casual reference to that person being a 'Dom'.. and chuckled it away. Well he sought me out.. sent me an email.... and after chatting... my eyes were opened... I had finally found what I had been searching for, a name to connect with all of the feelings that I held deep within my heart. I am very grateful for that particular person, and his patience in explaining some of the finer details.