BDSM clubs - submitting to (or dominating) 'strangers'

[_ID_]

There is a difference between bottoming and submitting. You can enjoy a play scene without sex, if you like, and not have to worry about giving up complete trust.

[ar1]

There is a difference between bottoming and submitting. You can enjoy a play scene without sex, if you like, and not have to worry about giving up complete trust.

A play scene without sex would still require a considerable amount of trust, would it not?

Also whilst you mention it (and I know this is the kind of question each person will have a different answer to), what's the rough percentage of people who will indulge in play scenes without sex? Will depend on each individual what their own limits are and what they'll want to do, but I'm figuring there must be some kind of relatively clear split in there somewhere...

[_ID_]

A play scene without sex would still require a considerable amount of trust, would it not?

Also whilst you mention it (and I know this is the kind of question each person will have a different answer to), what's the rough percentage of people who will indulge in play scenes without sex? Will depend on each individual what their own limits are and what they'll want to do, but I'm figuring there must be some kind of relatively clear split in there somewhere...

A play scene without sex does require that you trust the person to stay within the negotiated terms, just as when you negotiate a full on Master slave relationship, or anything in between. The level of trust required varies, not that you trust or don't trust. e.g. If I see a bottom, or a submissive (bottoming being that a person allows me to do things to and with their body having their input during the scene for changes and such, submitting being that I can do things with their mind inside the negotiated terms without them trying to direct or control things) that I would like to have a scene with. I can negotiate a scene that is simply a bare bottom spanking them on a kneeling bench. That only requires that they trust I won't harm them unintentionally by hitting their tail bone or any other careless act. It isn't sex, and it requires a minimum amount of trust.

As far as who enjoys play scenes with or without sex... Well I've known many submissives to enjoy a play scene without sex, I've also know submissives that look at play without sex as having cake, but not being able to eat the frosting on top. I've not noticed a percentage really, as most submissives I know tend to prefer to be in a sexual relationship with their dominant. Not all mind you, but most.

[ar1]

As far as who enjoys play scenes with or without sex... Well I've known many submissives to enjoy a play scene without sex, I've also know submissives that look at play without sex as having cake, but not being able to eat the frosting on top. I've not noticed a percentage really, as most submissives I know tend to prefer to be in a sexual relationship with their dominant. Not all mind you, but most.

Do you mean that most submissives you know will engage in play (without sex) with others but remain monogamous to their dominant, or that they are exclusively in a relationship with their dominant and will not participate in play scenes with anyone else? Thanks.

[_ID_]

Do you mean that most submissives you know will engage in play (without sex) with others but remain monogamous to their dominant, or that they are exclusively in a relationship with their dominant and will not participate in play scenes with anyone else? Thanks.

That most submissives will stay committed with a dominant, and not play with others.

I've seen people in committed relationships take on someone new for mentorship. For instance, a submissive is new, and wants to know what a flogger feels like. A Dom, whose actions and opinions the new sub trusts, and being in a committed relationship, could flog the submissive simply for the experience of it. The action could be anything really, caning single tails spanking flogging bondage needles, pick a topic. All that is required between the parties involved is that someone is going to get to experience the bottom or top side of whatever activity they are asking about. Another example of this would be if I knew a new Dominant who's got very little experience but is eager to learn but has nobody to learn with, I would show them on my sub the techniques I use, and then using my submissive I would allow them to try out what they learned while watching very closely to ensure they did things correctly. This instills both confidence and gives much needed experience that submissives are seeking from available Doms. The level of trust given by my sub to the new Dom is that they would follow my instruction, and not hurt her. No sex was negotiated or expected, as that isn't part of what was to be learned. That's the culmination of the experience for some, not the bulk of the activity.