I think it depends on what place you are talking about. I myself have mostly been in places where you could create really intense sessions. Either between two (or more) people, or as in organising a whole evening with a special theme, like Femdom/male sub evenings or the other way around, religious bdsm evenings, slave training evenings, or whatever.
I think you cannot answer such general questions - it all depends all what style the various places prefer - or so I have found it. I think you can only try to get info on that from the organisers to get and idea of their profile.And if that is the case, where do us other folk go who aren't attracted by this scene/type of activity or wouldn't feel entirely comfortable there for reasons aforementioned?
If you cannot find any that suits you, the only way I can see is to organise some yourself.